When I read this post, I had several thoughts.
1. The person who wrote the post is thoughtful and caring.
2. The post offers generally good advice.
3. The post is one-sided.
Objectivity is not something we come by easily. For mutual protection we form into mobs. Ever watched a school of fish? Even though they dart about, they still manage to swim in formation. Why do they do that? Apparently, it confuses their predators. Whereas a predator might be able to focus on, pursue, and wear out a lone fish, when it attacks a school it is the one that is worn down.
How do predators counter the defensive strategy of schooling? They form “schools” of their own. Dolphins, for example, hunt in pods (http://www.bioexpedition.com/dolphin-feeding/). Working together, they confuse their prey and dine well.
Imagine being accused of a crime. Imagine being pursue by a mob of reporters. Imagine the anxiety of being unable to prove your innocence. Without any supporters, how would you survive? If you are innocent, what is the chance you would receive justice? What is the chance your reputation would be destroyed?
When someone assaults another person for sexual purposes, that is just like any other assault. It is a crime. The thing that make a sexual assault different is the motive. Is the victim more personally violated, more emotionally damaged? Seems to be the case. When the charge is rape, for some reason that does seem to make most people a bit more angry at the perpetrator than if he or she had badly beaten someone. If the victim is a minor, we are further outraged.
Still, anyone accused of a crime deserves the due process of the law. Before passing judgment, we must establish guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. Because people lie, we cannot just assume they are telling the truth.
When accusers come out of the woodwork 5, 10, 20, 30, or 40 years after the fact, that is not heroic. When accusers pile onto someone, there is nothing heroic about that. How do we know if the accusers are telling the truth or just want attention? Until we carefully investigate their stories, we just know there is mob of people pursuing some guy. We don’t even know who is the prey and who is the predator.
WARNING: If you are a victim of sexual abuse, this post could be very painful for you. Take caution before you read it and seek help if it stirs up old wounds.
Can you imagine the damage? A child. A teenager. A female in a workplace. Confused. Powerless. Manipulated. Perhaps there’s a fight. Perhaps they are too afraid to fight. They are touched and made to touch. They are directed. They are lured through affirmation. They are shamed and threatened.
What are the emotional scars left by sexual violation? Feelings of being tainted or stained. Viewing sex as trauma. Viewing sex as useful to get what you want. Viewing sex as a means to gain affirmation. Gender confusion. The decimation of the ability to trust or receive love without strings. Wondering where God is, if He cares, and if He, too, is an abusive authority figure. Can Jesus still love…
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