Citizen Tom

What a hoot!  You may wish to read Wilder: Why Creigh Deeds Lost by L. DOUGLAS WILDER.  Then go read Does Anyone Know What Wilder’s Talking About?  It is apparent Wilder has Lowell of Blue Virginia totally confounded.  That is, what Wilder is saying goes right over Lowell’s head.

What is Wilder talking about?  To put it succinctly, he is saying, ”I told you so!” – as nicely as he can.  Note the accompanying advertisement for Wilder’s column.  Here is where Wilder made it quite clear he would not be endorsing Deeds.

The true source of the following is unknown, but I it thought particularly humorous.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950’s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values… You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find..You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World. We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

When I was researching the joke, I found a copy at Worldmag.com (here).  They had quite a bit of fun with it.

I recently discovered that I have a hidden streak of racism.  

This subtle taint was pointed out to me here by a reader. 

How do we know that Citizen Tom is a racist?  I included the racist noose below on my blog. 

I became concerned.  So I decided to research the problem on the Internet, and I came away aghast.  I am not the only hangman’s noose racist emanating racist overtones.

Here we have a member of a minority covered in cigarette butts.

Which minority, I have no idea.

This cartoon, however, is more explicit.

It makes the race of the absent minded the object of its terrible ridicule.

And this one is even more disgusting.

See how it features and shames the executioner minority, supposedly so stupid he needs a boyscout to tie his knots.

Even a minority of One (or is it a majority of One) is not spared.

Imagine daring to emanate racist overtones towards God.   God will always have the last laugh.  Have you ever worn a tie?

Ahhh, but here is the worst of all.

Nine nooses inflicted upon a poor little member of the cat minority.  PETA will have a cow.  I wonder if they will need a butcher and a cook.

Each of us is gifted with a brain and damned with a tongue.  We can only prosper when we wisely choose to use our brain before we unleash our tongue.  Yet it is so very hard to think and so very easy to speak.  What follows is a bit of humor (one of those chain emails) that illustrates this point.

COWS, GOLF AND THE WIFE

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asked him, ‘What happened to you?’

Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture.’  We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.’  ‘I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it – stuck right in the middle of the cow’s’ butt.’ Still holding the cow’s tail up, I yelled to my wife, ‘Hey, this  looks like yours!’

‘I don’t remember much after that…’

From time to time I get one of those chain mails that constantly weave their way through cyberspace.  What I think happens to be the most humorous and thoughtful ones I post.

LETTER FROM THE BOSS…..

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned  myself to the fact that Barack Obama is our President, and that our taxes, and government fees will increase in a BIG way.   To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%.

Since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal  state of the economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead.  This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn’t know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lot and found six Obama bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go.  I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this problem.

They voted for change; I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

CEO,
Smart Thinker

Undoubtedly, some will be horrified that a CEO would consider laying off anyone because of their political beliefs.  However, election idiocy has consequences.

Consider the nature of Democratic Party majority.  Is this not a political party that places political correctness far ahead of corporate profits?  If the CEO is not suppose to use profit as his primary criteria for deciding which employees to lay off, what criteria should he use?  Would poetic justice work?

If your vote just happens to be one of those votes that your boss thinks helped to cripple his company, why shouldn’t your boss fire you?

The Cartoons

Here we have the usual complaint about excessive management.

So what does our political leadership propose?  We need layers and layers of government to manage every aspect of the economy.

What follows is a health care proposal that just might improve both our health care and the economy.